Here’s The Guy Who Impregnated Ex-President Obama’s Daughter, Malia

In what promises to be the biggest White House scandal since intern MouthAction, President Barack Obama’s daughter, 16-year-old Malia, has confirmed that she is pregnant.

Sources say Malia is now in her second trimester. Mother and First Lady, Michelle Obama, says that although she will be a grandmother much younger than she planned, teen pregnancy runs in the family.

“On her father’s side of course. My mother-in-law had Barack when she was 18, so I see where Malia gets it from. I’m just so excited to decorate the nursery. The White House hasn’t seen a baby since oh, 1884 or so.”

For now, Malia is staying hush-hush about the father’s identity, but one thing she would say is that he is white. “My mom always hoped I would get with a nice mixed-race man like dad, but love is so colorblind. Mom was probably right though. The dad already left me for some tramp. And of course, like all white men, my baby-daddy won’t want to pay his child support. I already told him, ‘You want to keep your license so you can drive that bleach-blond tramp around in your little Jaguar, right? Better step up.’”

Despite her future motherhood, Malia is still considering her college options. “It’s not like Stanford or Berkeley are going to, like, turn me down for being a teen mother. Hello, I’m the president’s daughter. This doesn’t ruin my plans for a future at all. I can probably get a book deal out of this in a few years. MTV already offered to give me my own show, White House Baby-Momma-Drama or something stupidly titled like that. I was like, no way – that’s so white trash.”

President Obama says he is being supportive of his daughter, despite being as outraged as any father would be if his young daughter announced an unexpected pregnancy. “We’re all very relieved this little blessing happened, and thankfully in my second term.” When asked about his daughter’s ex-boyfriend, he replied,
“He’s just lucky I didn’t have him erased. Don’t mess with the Commander-in-Chief, homeboy. Ever hear of the Secret Service? Regardless, we’re sure he’ll come around.”

13 Comments

  1. There’s nothing to create confusions. You desired and you’re desired in response. Kudos to Obama’s extended family. God bless the new breeds God bless the Family.

  2. ur trying to formulate a story but ur mixing up ur facts. ur title talks of ex president and then you go ahead and talk about a baby not being born in the white house for so long. Is Mr. Obama a ruling ex president?

  3. The story sim to be fake,baby not being born in white House ex- president which is which….

  4. it is good to be pregnant but at the right time. it give honor to the family if pregnancy comes after narrate. but how ever it has happen like that, God has a reason for that, I wish her a save delivery.

  5. This statements are just confusing please why post something like this
    Why not organise your story first before rushing so this clearly portrays fake news that’s why its so disorganized this way!!

  6. Let’s thank him for he has accepted her, this also happens to my daughter when she was 17 years,we accepted, this is mostly happening globely,best wishes to the entire family.

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