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The Direct Message is an undisputed firestarter of the digital age—but the chances of failure are very high.

Social media has done strange things to all forms of interaction—particularly flirtation. The average guy can get rejected three times before he drags himself out of bed, while those at the top of the romance food chain can spend weeks just to make it work out perfectly.

The problem with the DM slide is that it rarely works, and that results are usually predetermined by your profile’s attractiveness factor. Part of the problem is that DM slides are most often reserved for strangers or distant acquaintances.
If you knew the person well, you’d be texting, calling, or making a move in person. The direct message is a woefully limited platform for first impressions—it’s like auditioning for The Voice via the internet. As such, sliding into her DMs should always be a last resort. If there’s any other way to show your interest, you should use it.

You should also know that you’re never sliding into her DM because she knows what’s going on.

And if you haven’t met her yet, be warned: DM sliding is an extreme sport. You have competition. The obstacles are numerous. You will land in her DMs if and only if she wants you there.

We’ve compiled some of the ways known to us that inspired the meme. Here’s some advice to consider before you slide.

Don’t: Begin with a dick pic – Would you ever approach an unknown woman in a bar and pull down your pants to flaunt a boner? This is a crime.

Do: Begin with mutual interests – Does she keep posting about astronomy, politics, sports, books, food, music, fashion etc? Determine what she cares about and start from there. Launch the conversation with a mutual interest. If you have a mutual friend, even better.

Don’t: Be generic – You have to find ways to stand out in a swarming digital crowd. Messages such as Wadup, Sup, Hi, You are hot, You are sexy etc are not slick enough to facilitate even the driest slide into the DMs (unless she’s really thirsty). Remember, she’s heard all these before.

Do: Ask thoughtful questions – Maybe she speaks french, or acts, or goes on shopping spree. Maybe she just posted her recent hair-do. A thoughtful question will personalize the message, and demonstrate that you’ve done your homework.

She’s much more likely to reply if she feels that you’ve taken a genuine interest in her life. (Note: Don’t reference something that’s buried in her account—this is creepy. Restrict your observations to the first few rows of photos on Instagram, or her most recent tweets.)

Sliding into the DMs is no easy feat. But if anything, the best piece of advice we can give you is this: Once you’ve accomplished it, make sure you slide out of them—and into real life.

Now that you know this, tell us how sliding into a girl’s DM works out for you. How did the girl react to your message(s)?

Drop your answers in the comment box below.

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