Rejection is the number one fear among human beings. One of the deepest needs of humans is the need to belong and to be accepted. When you are rejected in one way or another, you fail to satisfy this important need.
Most of our failures are nothing more than a form of rejection and knowing how to deal with rejection will help you lessen pain and bounce back to your normal emotional state.
One of the hardest areas to be rejected is romantic love. The suffering that comes with this type of rejection is considerably harder than in most other types. Interestingly, many people tend to love and desire those who aren’t as passionate about them. It seems like being rejected or merely fear of being rejected makes us more passionate about what we can’t have, making us suffer even more.
When you first realize you are being rejected, you may be unable to speak and feel physically sick. Physical symptoms and other symptoms such as being unable to sleep, work and concentrate can persist for several weeks. The intensity of negative emotions will gradually fade, although you will definitely continue having good days and bad days. Little by little you will learn to enjoy your life again and will start noticing other available options.
While time heals your wounds, here are some practical tips on how to deal with rejection, ease pain and make your recovery period significantly shorter.
Tell yourself it will go because it really will. Keep reminding yourself that this is only temporary and you may be even thankful for this experience in the future.
Engage in physical activities. Play tennis, chess or do something to keep you busy. Physical activity forces us to concentrate outside of ourselves and live in the moment. This is the reason why we feel so alive when we are active, and this is the reason why exercise can be actually addictive. Unlike other addictions, this one is usually positive and beneficial for you.
Focus outside yourself. Although it might be hard to do right now, avoid blaming and criticizing yourself. Be your own friend. If you catch yourself analyzing your past or yourself, gently draw attention away to something external.
Learn something new. Learning a new skill can be challenging; in addition to obvious benefits, it helps us heal by keeping us busy and focused. To make things even better, learning a new skill may help discover new opportunities or meet new people.
Travel. New places are always fun to explore and, just like suggestions above, new places will distract our attention from negative thoughts and add excitement to your life.
Meet new people. This goes without saying. When you meet someone new, you want to put your best foot forward, and this will force you to pick yourself up. In addition, new people have new exciting stories to tell which helps you stay distracted.
Use self-hypnosis. Hypnosis helps you access unconscious mind and shape it in ways you never dreamed was possible. If you are suffering from one-sided love, help yourself think less of that person and start to feel interested in other activities.
Consider online counseling. We all know professional counseling works, but having to book an appointment and then actually go to the clinic may seem overwhelming. You might be not in a good shape, and you might fear that by going there, you’ll embarrass yourself in front of strangers. Online counseling offers all benefits of traditional counseling without anxiety associated with going to see your therapist.